Gershel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
takeoutthetrash) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
youre_smashing2013-08-03 08:47 pm
takeoutthetrash) wrote in youre_smashing2013-08-03 08:47 pm
this is a bad idea and i should feel bad
[Eagle-eyed members of staff or student body, or just about anybody with a functioning sense of smell, might take notice of the shambling pile of animate trash making its way around school grounds. He, if it is indeed a he, doesn't seem to be hurting anyone, or really doing anything generally harmful other than stinking up the place. In fact, he actually looks more than a little nervous, inasmuch as a shambling garbage heap can appear nervous. He holds his arms of pipe and rotting fruit rinds close to his chest, busted 18-wheeler headlight eyes darting this way and that.]
[He toddles forward a bit on legs of compacted, mold-riddled cardboard, before stopping next to a nearby trash can. He grips both sides of the can and leans over it, curiously examining the contents. With but a moment of hesitation, he then reaches in and scoops out a great handful of miscellaneous junk and, after a bit of quick examination, crams it into his gaping maw. There is no chewing or really any motion other than a swift, satisfied gulp before he reaches back into the can to dig out another snack.]
[Yeah, somebody should probably stop him. It's super gross.]
[He toddles forward a bit on legs of compacted, mold-riddled cardboard, before stopping next to a nearby trash can. He grips both sides of the can and leans over it, curiously examining the contents. With but a moment of hesitation, he then reaches in and scoops out a great handful of miscellaneous junk and, after a bit of quick examination, crams it into his gaping maw. There is no chewing or really any motion other than a swift, satisfied gulp before he reaches back into the can to dig out another snack.]
[Yeah, somebody should probably stop him. It's super gross.]
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B-brother?no subject
It doesn't matter who I am. At last, we're finally together.no subject
Sonny Moe peered over at the newcomer and gave a sniff. Phew! Smelly! But it looked to be eating stuff. Sonny liked eating stuff.]
Hi! Is there anything good in the garbage today?
[He ambled over and peered into the can before pulling out a couple of watermelon rinds and shaking them off.]
If you're hungry, you should come to the cafeteria! There's lots of good food there.
[Yes, Sonny. Because that's what everyone wants to smell when they're sitting down to lunch.]
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[Gershel glances up at the Snorlax, still gripping the rim of the can.]
Oh, y'know. The, uh, usual haul. Fruit rinds, empty bags, all that good stuff. Lotta recyclables today.
[He mulls over the offer for a second, then shakes his head or head-equivalent.]
No thanks. S'not like I can really, y'know, taste things. With my tongue. Plus, I'm kinda on-duty at the mo. I feel-- feel like I got some obligations to uphold here.
[A quiet, nervous chuckle. Dude is practically oozing awkward right now. And some other things. He's just in a general oozing state of mind right now.]
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[He didn't want to clean that up.]
[It smelled so bad and he was sure it was his job but it was moving and what was even happening what the fuck]
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[Slooooooowly turning around to look at Connor.]
[He awkwardly raises a shaking, clublike right arm and gives a halfhearted wave. Hey there, guy. 'Sup?]
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Uh...
Hey there! Nice, uh... nice weather out here, ain't it?
[Awkward small talk.]
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[A life without the best sense of all? How could Arceus be so cruel?]
But, if you like eating this stuff, that's pretty good! I bet it helps keep everything clean and tidy.
[SCORE! A half eaten carton of fries! Sonny tips back and chews on the contents enthusiastically before offering Gershel the container.]
Oh! My name is Sonny Moe Snorlax! It's nice to meet you! Are you a Pokémon?
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[He graciously accepts the offered carton and eagerly shoves it down his gullet, giving a glimpse of jagged glass teeth before it disappears completely.]
Well, uh, please to make your acquaintance too. Folks just call me Gershel. I mean, if that's what everyone calls me, it's gotta be my name, right?
[He gingerly scratches the back of his trash bag head.]
Oh yeah, yeah I'm a Pokemon. Don't see a lot of us Garbodor's outside Unova, I hear.
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[This idea has him a little more excited than might be considered normal. Sonny is just passionate about food.]
Gershel the Garbodor? That's a nice name! And you're all the way from Unova? I haven't been to that region yet but I hear it's really cool! And that the TMs can be used more than once and that there are a LOT of fancy restaurants there!
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[Whoa whoa wait what.]
D'you-- d'you say I could turn human? Like, flesh and blood and skin and all that good stuff?
No foolin'?
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No fooling at all! It's really easy!
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...Hello.
The weather is...fair.
...
Do you require assistance?
[Freedom from trash hell?]
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How're you?
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[Staring]
Wow, uh... that's a, that's a real neat trick, that is.
Really not sure what to think about this, t'be honest. There's-- there's a lot goin' on over here, lotta stuff runnin' through my head right now.
Hey, uh, that's an odd turn of phrase, ain't it?! 'Runnin' through my head'. Why're they in such a hurry, those mean ol' thoughts, huh? Are they tryin' to get somewhere. What's the big rush?!
[Some more forced, awkward laughter.]
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But anyway! Anyone who stays at the school can get a Humanization TM to use! And it doesn't take up a move slot, just incase your trainer would worry about that. You can use it any time and you can even transform into a Human wearing clothes so that you're not naked in front of everyone! ....Humans don't like that.
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When did we get a new janitor?
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