Test driving~

[hee_hee_hee]

[Video]

[When the feed turns on, a young, rather frail looking woman appears on the screen. Nothing too noticeable about her...except for the rather large bandage wrapped around her head. Even so...something may feel"off" about her, even from the feed ]

Hello...my name is Viola Cadaverini. I've been hired as one of the lunch staff at this academy recently.

...in the cafeteria, I've provided some refreshments for you to enjoy. Quietly.

[She gives the camera a small smile.]

I look...forward to seeing you there. Hee... Hee... Hee...

[And off goes the feed! Feel free to respond to the message here, or just head down for some snacks provided by your creepy new lunch lady.]

Comments

[punch_in_pink]

[duuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr food is gewd he sees nothing wrong with this]

...W-whoa! Really? That's super nice of ya, ma'am, I love-

[Oh...bandage.]

Uh, ma'am? Are you okay? Ma'am?

[hee_hee_hee]

It's no trouble...at all. It was very...kind of the Hands to give me this job. I thought it would be wise to do something...nice...in return.

[Is she alrig--oh. The bandage, of course.]

...I'm fine. Nothing to worry about.

I just had a little...accident a few months ago. A little...fatal...accident.

Hee... Hee... Hee...

[star_punched]

Well I appreciate food so I'll be thankin' you in advance.

[Uh.]

A lil...fatal accident.

[...Aaaaand his brain broke.]

And you're fine?

[hee_hee_hee]

...

[She already answered you, Mac. Now on to a topic that doesn't bother her.]

You will be coming down soon...right? I would hate...for the refreshments to grow cold. Especially before you arrived.

[un_worthy]

[Some poor soul has missed the memo and passes by the cafeteria like nothing is new-- WAIT A MINUTE... What's all this food doing out? This requires further investigation and speaking to the young lady looming around the area.]

Erm... Excuse me. Is there something going on today?

[hee_hee_hee]

Something going on?

[Viola pauses for a few seconds, before shaking her head.]

I cannot say that there's anything...major...going on. I was just hired here...as a member of the lunch staff. I figured it would be nice to bake some...pastries...as a way to say thanks.

Would you like some?

[un_worthy]

I see. In that case, welcome.

I suppose one wouldn't hurt.

[hee_hee_hee]

Thank you. ...I'm glad the people here have been so kind to me...it's surprising.

...have as many as you want. They are...special, but I can always make more.

Hee... Hee... Hee...

[un_worthy]

[That ominous laughter, though.]

... "Special?"

[hee_hee_hee]

[Just eat the damn snack, Edgey.]

Yes. Very special. To die for, even.

[un_worthy]

[BUT HE DOESN'T WANT TO DIE. YET.]

O-oh.

[If he didn't already have a pastry in his hand he probably would have backed away slowly, but as it stands he just quietly sniffs it like he's checking to make sure it doesn't smell like dead people.]

[hee_hee_hee]

...

[She'll just be standing there, waiting for him to take a bit out of his doughnut.

Just standing there.

Waiting.

Watching.]

[un_worthy]

...

[Sure, she may look nice enough, but Viola sure knows how to make a guy nervous. Edgeworth, get a hold of yourself. She probably just used a hard-to-get ingredient. Besides, what sort of person would give poison as a thank you gift?

... ... ... The same sort of person who says her food is to die for and then giggles about it? No, no, don't jump to conclusions. She probably just has... a very strange sense of humor.]

......

[COME ON, MILES, BE A MAN... He takes a bite and chews. Does it taste like poison? Nah, it just tastes like a doughnut. He can't seem to decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing, though.]

... Hmm.

[hee_hee_hee]

[Meanwhile, Viola creeps on watches Edgeworth as he takes a bite out of the doughnut. It's...hard to tell if he likes it or not.]

...? Do you like it?

[un_worthy]

oh no, I've been poisoned, this is the end

nnghoooooooooohhhhhhh

[goodnight, sweet prince]

[He glares stares at her for a while before he answers. IS IT POISON?]

... It isn't bad.

[hee_hee_hee]

Hee... Hee... I knew you'd like it. They're special pastries...family recipe.

[She certainly seems...somewhat pleased you liked it. Now to find a place to hide your body.]

RUNNING IN 3

[un_worthy]

[Way to totally justify his suspicion... Nobody giggles like that around food unless they've tampered with it somehow.]

Is that so? What family would that be, Miss...?

[Well, at the very least, he would know who to blame if this doughnut took him to the grave.]

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE

[hee_hee_hee]

Cadaverini. Viola Cadaverini.

[And then lighting flashed outside the windows, even though it was perfectly sunny.]

WORST HALLOWEEN SURPRISE EVER

[un_worthy]

[Okay, he'll just add that new name to-- WAIT A MINUTE...]

C-Cadaverini!?

[Now would be an opportune time for a spit-take but as if he would accept a drink from Viola now SPUTTER. AHEM. TREAD CAREFULLY or BECOME A DEAD MAN.]

I, err... Mmph. It's nice to meet you.

THAT'S A FUNNY WAY TO SPELL BEST

[hee_hee_hee]

...you know, it's considered impolite...not to introduce yourself after someone else has.

I don't like impoliteness.

2SPOOKY

[un_worthy]

...!

[Edgeworth is usually so picky about formalities that it hurts, but the threat of AM I POISONED seemed a little more important. But since he hadn't died yet, maybe he was fine. He does seem pretty OFFENDED flustered over Viola's comment for a second before he tries to act all professional-like, though.]

That wasn't my intention; I apologize.

[He bows stiffly as an attempt to drive that point home.]

My name is Miles Edgeworth.

[hee_hee_hee]

...!

[That name...she thought he looked familiar. What was a guy like him doing in a dump school like this?]

Miles...Edgeworth. As in...the famous prosecutor, correct?

[un_worthy]

[Wishing someone told him it was a dump earlier, that's what

Oh, this didn't bode well.]

I'm a prosecutor, that's correct.

[hee_hee_hee]

Hee... Hee... I thought so.

I wouldn't worry too much if I were you. I don't recall you locking away...any of my family.

[un_worthy]

[I OBJECT TO THIS WITNESS'S CREEPINESS

Talk about a suspicious character.]

And if I had?

1/2

[hee_hee_hee]

...

People don't like it when their family members get thrown in jail.

[If you thought she was scary before, you might want to hide under a table now.]

I've heard...things about you, Mr. Edgeworth. Things involving you "getting your suspect a guilty verdict not matter what".

2/2

[hee_hee_hee]

But I also heard...you turned things around.

As I said before, you didn't lock any of my family members away...so you don't have to worry about the...consequences.

[un_worthy]

[Jesus Christ how horrifying.

He looks at his watch and clears his throat.]

Well, I should be going. I have an appointment to keep. It was, err... A pleasure speaking with you.

[EDGEWORTH, OUT. He practically speed-walks out of the cafeteria.

Upon inspection, he wasn't even wearing a watch.]