THINKING WITH PORTAL

[did_well_enough]

[Ever seen a giant AI robot towering over you with a single glowing eye?

Well if your answer was no, CONGRATULATIONS...you won't be seeing one now either. Why? Because for some reason or another, GLaDOS here seems to have become HUMAN...or at least an android.]

Alright, this is not funny. You there, identify yourself and the location I am currently in now.

[Oh yeah, she's definitely not happy.]

Comments

[did_well_enough]

I believe this is the part where you beg me to not dismantle you.

[notamoron]

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I'M TOO YOUNG AND HANDSOME AND CHARMING TO DIE!!!

[did_well_enough]

I don't know about any of those, but perhaps I would agree with "to dumb to die".

In fact, I'm not sure you know how to die, considering you just keep coming back for more.

[Oh god she wants to torture you SO BAD. And so, a sadistic grin.]

[notamoron]

I'LL AGREE WITH ANYTHING YOU SAY JUST DON'T KILL ME--

Wait a tick. Why are you a human?

[did_well_enough]

[And she frowns, way to bring that up, Wheatley.]

Why don't you tell me. And if I approve of your answer, I might not kill you.

[notamoron]

Wait wait wait wait wait.

If you're human... then that means you're not in charge anymore.

And if you're not in charge anymore...

You... can't... hurt me...!

[did_well_enough]

Oh...oh that's funny. You think I can't hurt you.

[And she may be laughing.]

I still have your schematics memorized to that last detail. I could take you apart without even trying.

[And that creepy smile's back.]

Now, either take my very generous offer up or I will start peeling pieces of that core of yours off until you do.

[notamoron]

But I'm all the way up here, and you're all the way down there! You can't reach me with your human legs!

[did_well_enough]

[And she judges the height of where he is to her current location. She couldn't jump that high, he's right




For once.

However, that isn't going to stop her. She'll leave and you may feel pretty good about yourself, Wheatley...until she comes back with a stepladder, climbs up it and proceeds to disengage you from said railing.]

[notamoron]

...

Oh, I didn't think of that...

Um, I'm sorry?

[did_well_enough]

It's too late for that, Wheatley.

[And done, you are now disengaged from the railing and plummeting to the ground as we speak.]

[notamoron]

[Ow. That hurt.]

AAAAH!! Can't we talk about this?

[did_well_enough]

Sure. You can talk, while I make you regret being brought online.

[And after she climbs down from the stepladder, enjoy that kick.]

[notamoron]

[And he spent the rest of the day apologizing while being turned into a soccer ball. And they all lived happily ever after.]