THINKING WITH PORTAL

[did_well_enough]

[Ever seen a giant AI robot towering over you with a single glowing eye?

Well if your answer was no, CONGRATULATIONS...you won't be seeing one now either. Why? Because for some reason or another, GLaDOS here seems to have become HUMAN...or at least an android.]

Alright, this is not funny. You there, identify yourself and the location I am currently in now.

[Oh yeah, she's definitely not happy.]

Comments

[poyo]

Um, I'm Kirby and this is a school, poyo!

[ In Dream Land, Kirby is the help. It's him. ]

[did_well_enough]

Why am I in a teaching establishment? And for that matter, why do I seem to have a humanoid body?

[And then, cue the narrowing of those soulless gold eyes. SHE'S ON TO YOU PUFFY.]

Did you have anything to do with this?

[poyo]

Poyo...

[ and those innocent blue eyes stare right back, narrowing a bit in thought

can you hear those gears turning

nope me neither ]

I don't know.

[did_well_enough]

You...don't know.

[All the eyebrow raising.]

Is that some kind of joke? Because it is very poorly executed and above all unfunny.

[explosion_day]

[Have a very manly metal sphere, GLaDOS.Be very afraid the day Rick ever finds himself in a human or humanesque body.]

Well hello there, angel. Looks like you found yourself in the...

...Danger Zone.

But don't worry, just stand back and Rick'll take care of you.

[did_well_enough]

[Why, it would be the manliest thing on the face of the Earth.]

Angel?

[Frown.]

Flirting with your superiors is often frowned upon in Aperture Science, Adventure Core.

[explosion_day]

[Indeed.]

Often. But not often enough.

So's setting the facility on fire, but I guess that wasn't my fault. For being so hot.

You can call me Rick, by the way.

...I am not worthy, you are too awesome.

[did_well_enough]

No, it wasn't your fault. It was the fault of a moron who let the power of running an entire facility get to his head.

[And she proceeds to facepalm. But you DID help her out, so she can be somewhat nice.

For now.]

Yes, you've said that already.

[fattynoparents]

[Chell walked.

And walked and walked and walked for a really long time, until endless fields of wheat gave way to roads and farms and towns and finally, a city.

With a school.

Which wasn't so bad, really--there was plenty to explore, and if she had to acclimate herself to functioning society, a place with free room and board would be the way to do it.

So here she is, minding her own business, when she hears that voice.

Why is that voice here why is it coming out of that lady. Please excuse her very shocked staring. It's not going to stop anytime soon.]

[did_well_enough]

[And GLaDOS was just walking as well...somehow she managed to move around without stumbling too much, no thanks to her new body. And just when she was getting the hang of it, almost as if it was a second nature...she stops dead in her tracks.]

...what are you doing here?

[notamoron]

[Good thing Wheatley doesn't recognize you, GLaDOS. If he did, he would start screaming and never stop.]

Oh hello! You know, I haven't the foggiest, but look at that, there's management rails in this place all the same! Isn't that cool? Well, if you figure it out, do tell me too, all right?

[did_well_enough]

[That's okay, she's going to pop your bubble.]

Well, if it isn't the moron. Didn't I leave you out in space? You know, after you turned me into a potato and then tried to kill me.

[notamoron]

...

Wait, what?

[did_well_enough]

I am incapable of stuttering, Wheatly. You know what I said.

[iamtheeggman]

My, aren't you DEMANDING. You must be another NEW ARRIVAL. Go talk to the hands, and leave me alone.

[did_well_enough]

[Enjoy that eyeroll, doc.]

Believe me, if I was in any other position I wouldn't bother wasting my time on someone like you. From the look of your generous proportions, I doubt you would make a decent test subject.

But I am unaware of my location and have lots of testing to do. So you will have to do. I suggest you talk.

[iamtheeggman]

OH SURE, A FAT JOKE. BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HEARD THEM ALL BEFORE!!

AND I AM NOT FAT! I'M SHAPELY!!

[did_well_enough]

I don't recall using the word "fat". I believe you came to that conclusion on your own.

[operatingbuddy]

You are currently located in Smash Academy in Final Destination City.

[did_well_enough]

[Oh thank God. Finally, a person who isn't useless.]

I do not recognize this "Final Destination City". Is this a different dimension than the one I am from?

[operatingbuddy]

Impossible to tell, given currently available information. However, similar events have transpired, and beings from other dimensions have managed to enter this facility through unorthodox means. Therefore the probability exists at approximately 87% likelihood.

[did_well_enough]

Understood. Are there any means of escape from this location? And if so, how would I proceed?

[after_the_flower]

This is the Academy.

[did_well_enough]

Academy? Of what, pray tell?

[after_the_flower]

Someone told me they teach classes to students. All kinds of classes.

[So much help.]