I'M A FREEEEEE BIIIIRRRRD YEAH!!

[smeargle]

[My goodness, what an entirely odd situation. There looks to be a girl with... rather canine additions approaching the gates, wagging her oddly long tail as she walked.

... Wait is the end of that said tail a freaking paintbrush? UH YEAH, yeah it totally is! Why, this isn't a girl at all! I mean it is but you know what I mean It's a pokemon with a horribly poor disguise of a pokemon!

And what's this?? She appears to be...

...

Singing?

Actually that sounds incredibly familiar, almost as if two vehicles could be flying across a cliff to this soundtrack.

Nah. That's just silly.

But she is singing and she is rather elated looking to be standing on this property again. Yehaw. She's completely friendly and despite the fact that she's kinda wearing a spiked collar, she's just shy of five foot and actually uh... she looks about as intimidating as a marshmallow with a toothpick sticking out of it. Oh well.]

Comments

[bunnyfears]

I guess you have a point...

...I'm still not too sure about avoiding extinction, though. I mean, even IF I don't get killed somehow, in order to not be the last one, I'd have to-

[Yarne realizes just where that line of thought is going to lead, and immediately cuts himself off, coughing awkwardly and looking away.]

[smeargle]

... You'd have to do... that thing.

[Giggle. She's totally blushing. and totally not acting 14 again.]

[bunnyfears]

Yyyyeah... Which means, you know, having to find a girl like you, that'd do... that thing...

[A brief moment of silence passes, before Yarne realizes what he just said.]

I-I mean, not... not like, YOU, specifically, I mean... I'm not going to ask you to help repopulate my species or anything! I barely even know you!!

[smeargle]

[Look at that awkward silence. Look at it. Incredible.]

I um. No offense, dude but ... you should process those thoughts better before you let them out. I mean, I do it all the time myself but... wow.

[bunnyfears]

Right. Right, uh. Yeah, I'm... not exactly the best at talking to people.

[smeargle]

No biggie.... I personally know how it is, and I'm not going to walk away after that little awkward moment.

[Pause.]

I mean unless it gets worse, but I doubt it will!

[bunnyfears]

Well, thanks then!

I don't really know how this could get any worse, though... I mean, maybe I could, like- No no no, nevermind! I'm not even going to start down that train of thought!

[Not that saying that is going to help. Yarne kind of has a habit of thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong.]

[smeargle]

Nothin' to it...~

[Her hands go up, in a gentle way of course. No sudden movements from her really.]

Shhhhh... No bad thoughts! This is a positive zone right here and then! People make mistakes, it's okay...!

[bunnyfears]

Okay, but I make mistakes a LOT. I mean, even right now, all I can think about is saying how much I want to make tons of babies with you or something.

[A second or two passes before Yarne just kind of. Rests his face in his hands.]

Gods why do I even keep talking.

[smeargle]

[Oh wow. This guy is all sorts of awkward. Okay, time to employ a tactic she saves for only the worst cases. Gently rubbing her temple with a hand, she looks up at him and casually tries to signal him closer.]

Yarne, come down to Smee height for a second. Promise I won't hit you.

[Because that is so reassuring, I'm sure.]

[bunnyfears]

[Yarne just kinda groans a bit, and leans down until he's at her height.]

You sure? Because I'm pretty sure most people would want to kill me for saying such stupid things by now.

[smeargle]

[AND SUDDENLY HER HANDS SLAP ONTO HIS CHEEKS. Not too rough, though! She's better than that. However, holding her hands firmly, she looks him dead in the eye.]

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You're being dumb and negative! Stop that!

[bunnyfears]

AGH!! [Rough or not, he reacts like someone just tried to kill him, jumping nearly a foot into the air and leaping away from her.]

Y-you said you wouldn't hit me!! And I already told you, I can't stop!!!

[smeargle]

[Those eyes are just rolling, she slowly lowers her hands and frowns.]

I didn't hit you, you baby! My hands are only sorta rough because I have pawpads on them, calm down...

And you can! Fight off the negativity! Do it!

[bunnyfears]

Yeah you did... I mean, I guess it didn't really hurt that much, but... it was still hitting me!

[Yarne shivers a bit, apparently now kind of scared of the tiny girl after she's attacked him.]

I really can't, though... I've tried before, but all I can do is worry!

[smeargle]

That's the same as tapping someone's shoulder to get their attention and calling it punching them in the shoulder, the way you're making it out to be.

[Siiiiigh. This guy this guy.]

I bet you haven't tried hard enough. You just need to try again!

[bunnyfears]

You don't tap someone in the face with the whole palm of your hand!

There's so many ways everything can go wrong in an instant, though. How can I possibly stop worrying?

[smeargle]

You haven't met my dad! He's very big and I have to tap him on the face with both hands!

Because if you live your life like that then you'll decrease your lifespan. Keeping alert for safety is one thing, but being like that makes you super super tense and nervous and unable to enjoy most things! You gotta relax, dude!

[bunnyfears]

...Like, big compared to you? Or big enough that I need to worry about getting eaten?

[He throws his arms up into the air, starting to lose his cool.] Well that's not so easy to do when I've got to run from roving squads of corpses out to kill everything they can, a giant death dragon somewhere out there a million times bigger than me, and the fate of my entire race, not to mention maybe all life period resting on my shoulders!!!!

[smeargle]

Nah, he's about my height when he's in his normal form. His human form is like sooo much bigger though, but he's friendly. It's alright.

[... Oh boy. Her shoulders shrug a bit, staring up at him with a determined look. She's making a mess and she wants to fix it. Sigh.]

I'm a wild pokemon, you didn't know that, but you do. I'm constantly being hunted down to be captured and trained. It's not death, but... it feels like it sometimes to think about it that way. But you don't have to worry about all of that while you're here is what I'm trying to say.

Yes, those are real dangers.

... But you need to calm down.

[bunnyfears]

I CAN'T!!! I just... I don't know how...!

[The only thing her telling him to calm down is really accomplishing is making his self-esteem dip even lower, since he just can't get himself to do it, even though he knows most normal people should be able to just fine, and that's just giving him even MORE anxiety... Right now he can't decide whether he wants to curl up or just bolt in the opposite direction.]

[smeargle]

[This is when she finally gets it. She slooowly drops to the ground, crossing her legs and letting her tail rest against the grass.]

Yarne, join me down here, alright? Sit down with me.

[bunnyfears]

You're probably just going to hit me again...

[He sighs, and sits down nonetheless, holding his knees to himself.]

[smeargle]

Shhh.... no I'm not, I promise.

[She's cooking up something but it's good.]

Just take a deep breath... and close your eyes.

[bunnyfears]

That's what you said last time.

[He stares at her for a few seconds, before relenting, closing his eyes again and waiting to be smacked.]