(no subject)

[astandupguy]

[No matter who you are or where you are, if you're walking around...just about anywhere on campus, you're likely to find a skeleton. However, what he'll be doing when you find him depends solely on the time of day.

Maybe you'll find him sleeping somewhere. Anywhere. Even places that don't make logical sense. As long as his body can fit, bam. Done deal.

Perhaps he's standing on a milk crate, holding onto a lint roller and cracking some absolutely terrible jokes to anyone who walks by.

Or he could have a booth set up. Looks kinda like the kind you'd see a sentry having. However, instead of guarding something...he's selling hot dogs? Or hot cats, if that's more your style.]

Comments

[rivalthunderbolts]

[Jolt happened to notice the sentry stand, but who cared?

THERE WAS MEAT INVOLVED.

He slammed his hand on the counter.]

I'll take ten of your finest hot dogs.

Standing on a milk crate please.

[golonghorns]

[....is that kid a skeleton.

sure. ok. why not. some kids were dogs. some kids were dragons. some kids were robots. this kid was a skeleton.

Seems Legit.]

Hey.

[Why was this, possibly dead, child holding a lint roller.]

Hotdoooooogs.

[punchtheflute]

Hi, Bone Guy!

[Sonny has never seen a skeleton that moves except for Dry Bones. But this guy was no turtle!]

It's so cool you set up a Hotdog Stand! It looks really great! Twenty hot dogs and do you have any sodas?

[astandupguy]

[If you're expecting meat I got news for you, son.]

* ten, huh?

* sorry, i've only got 9 ready to go. but if you'd like, i can give you a hot giraffe. s'basically the same thing.

Coming right up!

[astandupguy]

[Wow, he's not a kid. He's...

...

...old enough to call everyone else kid. Yeah. Your guess is as good as mine.]

* heya. something i can help you with?

[rivalthunderbolts]

[Now see here]

Is that made from like real giraffe meat?

[astandupguy]

* are hot dogs made from real dog meat?

[He's not saying no...]

[rivalthunderbolts]

No, but I never heard of a hot giraffe before.

[astandupguy]

[Welp. He can't judge. It's folks like this who keep him in business.

Still...]

* whoa. hang on there a second, pally. we got a policy here. if you can't hold onto that many at once, i'm gonna have to stack 'em on your head.

[astandupguy]

* trust me, kid, if you like one hot animal you'll like 'em all.

[Is that ever present grin of his looking ever bigger? Kinda hard to tell. Though he does seem pretty amused by all this.]

[rivalthunderbolts]

Well, meat's meat. Hit me.

[astandupguy]

* well.

* if you insist.

[And sure enough, there are 9 hot dogs and 1 hot giraeff (it's literally the same thing?????) all ready to go. Of course he chucks them all at jolt, yet somehow manages to stack them on his head, shoulder and even...one on his nose.

Huh.]

* there ya go. first order's on the house.

* ...though i guess it's on you. heh heh.

[ladyoftheshootingstars]

[Why was there a skeleton child sleeping in the hallway? How peculiar... That didn't mean Rosalina didn't just ignore him. She left, then returned a few minutes later to drape a blanket over his sleeping self.]

[rivalthunderbolts]

[Oh. Okay. So this is how it was gonna go. Jolt kept his precarious balance, to ensure that the stack didn't fall over.]

Okay... Okay... I can make this work...

[Using all of his dog-like instincts, he nudged the one on his nose into the air and caught it in his mouth.]

Mmph!

[astandupguy]

[Watching silently, Sans holds up a sign once Jolt catches the hot dog. It's a very solid 9.5]

* so? how it taste?

[punchtheflute]

Woah! What a weird policy! But, OK, rules are rules and I can hold a lot of hotdogs at once.

[He just kind of sat down off to the side to make Sans' job easier.]

My name is Sonny Moe! It's nice to meet you! It's hard to get a good hot-dog around here sometimes so you're a very welcome member of the community!

Re: Coming right up!

[golonghorns]

Not sure.

[How did this skeleton talk and move. Did it even have vocal chords? Was this magic.]

I guess you're... magic or somethin'?

[astandupguy]

* yeah, i thought the same thing. but my boss has got a real sense of humor.

[Admittedly making 20 hot dogs is a bit much, even for him, so it'll take Sans a little bit. In the meantime...]

* i'm sans. sans the skeleton.

* and the feelings likewise.

[Before long, all those hot dogs are sitting casually on paper plates. For a moment, Sans falls quiet, until he realizes something.]

* so i'm gonna have to be frank with you, buddy. not really sure what the currency is here. or what the exchange rate is. like i said, my boss is a real joker. so why don't you tell me what you'd be willing to pay for these hot dogs and we'll go from there.

1/2

[astandupguy]

* no.

2/2

[astandupguy]

* i'm sans, actually.

[punchtheflute]

Oh! Well, we usually pay for things with dollars! Some people pay with gold coins, like my Boss. Others pay with rupees which are like jewels. Some pay with Pokéyen! I only have dollars, right now. Mostly? Hotdogs cost an average of two dollars each. You'll find some as cheap as a dollar and some as expensive as three. Never pay more than three dollars for a hotdog unless it has premium toppings, Sans.

[Serious Life Advice Right Here.]

Premium. Like bacon and grilled bell pepper and the brown kind of mustard.

I'll pay you fifty dollars for all these hotdogs. That's two dollars and fifty cents each. I'll also give you a ten dollar tip because I asked you to make so many. Does that sound fair?

[This is high finance stuff here and Sonny never shirks his responsibilities as a good customer.]

[astandupguy]

[When Rosalina returns, Sans will be mysteriously gone. Instead, the skeleton from the biology will be laying down where he was. It's even wearing a hoodie and shorts. Did she imagine that?

...or maybe she should just check the biology room.]

[ladyoftheshootingstars]

[Huh. That was odd... She did of course check the biology room afterwards, and sure enough, Sans was sleeping, hanging where the skeleton was before.]

You're quite the curious creature, aren't you?

[rivalthunderbolts]

[Jolt swallowed.]

...This ain't meat.

[astandupguy]

* it isn't?

* huh.

* well, tell ya what, kid. i'll be sure to give you a full refund.

[Then an actual rimshot plays out.]