Orange Kid 2: The Revenge: Invent Harder

[orange_kid]

This place...

It's been a long time since I've graced this place with my genius! There is of course, a very good reason for that. Namely, last time I was here, this place was full of horrible, filthy liars who insisted I was not the handsome, charming, brilliant genius that I am! Also, my roommate was awful.

Anyway, I'm back, however briefly, to show off my greatest invention yet! The device to turn a hard boiled egg back into a normal egg!!!

Does anyone dare to step forth and see what true genius is like?

Comments

[genderbentmario]

Ugh, I definitely feel you on the awful roommates, glasses kid.

[Wendy. IZZY.]

So, true genius, huh? Alright, show me!

[orange_kid]

I guarantee you, no roommate could have been as bad as Apple Kid. And for the record, the name is Orange Kid, miss. Not Glasses Kid! Though the glasses do help contribute to my stunning good looks.

[Orange Kid pulls out a small, white device, and places a hard boiled egg inside, and flips shut a glass cover.]

Behold! A hard-boiled egg! But alas, the boiling was a mistake! You didn't want to cook it that way. Well, with the Super Orange Egg Machine, or Suporeggma for short, you can undo your mistake with the press of a button!

[And, of course, Orange Kid presses a button! The machine suddenly emits an almost blinding light from the window. It fades after a few seconds, and Orange Kid slides open the glass cover again, and pulls out a normal, uncooked egg.]

Ta-da!!! It's back to normal, and yours, for the low, low price of 50,000 dollars! But, since you're so cute, I think I'll offer it at only 45,000.

[genderbentmario]

[OH MY GOSH A BOY THINKS SHE IS CUTE. Yes, this is clearly more important than the technological marvel of unboiled eggs.]

That is SO. COOL. I can't believe that actually works!

...But, hold on. Can it do soft-boiled eggs, too? I mean, 45 thousand is a lot of dough to spend on a unitasker.

[orange_kid]

[Oh yeah. Orange Kid has still got it.]

Hmmm... I suppose it could, yes! It works by reversing the very flow of time itself in a localized area, so it could really undo anything that you've accidentally done to an egg!

By the way, you would not believe how many errors in Einstein's theories I had to work out until I finally was able to get this thing working. It's hard to believe anyone ever considered the guy a genius, really, when there are people like me around.

[explosion_day]

[There's a... metal ball with a big green optic staring.]

Wow. That is completely useless. I can not think of how something could be even more useless than this.

[Staring. Scrutinizing.]

You're not related to that Fact guy, are you? 'Cause you sure sound like him.

[You sound like a NEEEEEERRRRRRD.]

[orange_kid]

...Right. Well. Forgive me if I'm not going to take the assessment of a talking soccer ball seriously!

Honestly now, are you one of Apple Kid's inventions or something? Who else would make such an obvious piece of junk. And while I don't know any 'Fact Guy', I can say with absolute certainty that everything I say is, in fact, a fact! That's a fact.

[explosion_day]

Look nerd, I'm no soccer ball. I'm an Adventure Sphere, designed for action and danger. Which you are neither of.

No--you know what? You're even worse. It's like someone put that AI into some squishy non-lady human body and you happened to be the end result.

[orange_kid]

Action and danger? What are you going to do, roll threateningly at them?

Furthermore, I am NOT a nerd. There are many words you could use to describe me. Inventor. Scientist. Genius. 'Nerd' is just a word made up by the unintelligent, to insult and deride those with exceptional minds like mine, so that they can feel better.

Now, I can't say I know who you're talking about, but if they remind you of me, I'm sure they're actually an excellent person!

[explosion_day]

HEY. Don't underestimate me. I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything.

Yeah, no, you're totally a nerd. And a horrible person.

[orange_kid]

Even assuming you do know martial arts, something I highly doubt, I'm afraid you simply don't have any limbs to carry them out with! I'm sorry, but your ridiculous delusions are simply impossible.

A horrible person? Honestly now, that's just rude! Why would you even say that? How can you possibly think someone as spectacular as myself could in any way be horrible?

[explosion_day]

Your mama's a ridiculous delusion. How'dya like them apples, huh? Tastes like justice and Krav Maga to the face, doesn't it?

Because you're a nerd.

[orange_kid]

Hm. You're completely insane, aren't you?

My apologies for the insults. It isn't right to criticize the mentally unwell! You can't help being a deranged madman, after all. Or, well, a deranged mad sphere, I suppose.

did someone say that fact guy

[mosthandsome]

The Fact Sphere is also true genius. The Fact Sphere is a very intelligent sphere, and believes it appropriate to propose an allegiance.

Re: did someone say that fact guy

[orange_kid]

Ah, another talking ball... I take it you're the one that green one was talking about? Then you must be quite intelligent, for an orb! Alas, genius such as ours will always be misunderstood.

[enhancedvision]

That's rather pointless, do you not think?

[She adjusts her glasses. Totally trying not to judge you.]

[orange_kid]

Pointless??? Surely you can't be serious! This is the greatest invention of our age, and I the greatest inventor of our age!

[obfuskate]

That is the most ridiculous invention I have ever heard of.

[Unlike Sonja, he is totally judging you.]

[orange_kid]

Then obviously you have no true intelligence whatsoever if you look at this device and declare it 'ridiculous.'

[originalthecharacter]

On the contrary, your own intelligence is lacking.

[He nudges his foot against the piece of machinery. Hmph. Pointless.]

The uselessness of this tool is appalling.

[orange_kid]

You don't seem to know who you're talking to, so allow me to fill you in! The name's Orange Kid. Perhaps you've heard of me? The famed inventor of Twoson, who routinely sweeps women off their feet? The greatest genius who has ever lived? The scientist who most certainly does NOT make useless machines?

[Orange Kid pulls the machine away protectively. How dare this person touch such a delicate piece of machinery so carelessly!]

[obfuskate]

Hmph.

[yeah how dare he

look at him

he is so remorseful right now]

You seem to not know who you are talking to, yourself.

I am the ultimate form of superior mentality, the Ultimate Lifeform itself. I have far more reason than you could ever dream of possessing, human.

[orange_kid]

The 'ultimate lifeform'... I see. This place is just as full of madmen as I remember it.

Well, you are of course welcome to continue believing your insane delusions of grandeur! I will simply continue with my work, creating inventions that will benefit all mankind.

[originalthecharacter]

You are mistaken... and yet I have no worth in proving the truth of my existence to someone so feeble-minded.

[TURNING AWAY LIKE A DOUCHEBAG. Man kid you suck he's seen Eggman do better and he's kind of a maniac. A maniac with decent inventions, though.

Decent.]

[after_the_flower]

...

[orange_kid]

Yes, miss? Is there something you'd like to say? Or are you simply stunned by my dashing good looks? It's nothing to be ashamed of, it happens all the time!

[after_the_flower]

[Orange, keep flattering yourself. She's just confused.]

Why do you want to make hard boiled eggs into raw eggs?

[orange_kid]

Well, that's simple! It's if you cook one, and then change your mind about it.

[after_the_flower]

That's good.

I prefer making crablettes with eggs anyway.

[+1 Orange Kid]

[monotreme_101]

An Egg Unboiler? That's... actually pretty cool. Can it unboil only partially? Say you want a softboiled egg but left your egg on the stove too long, can you just make the yolk runny and the rest cooked?

[orange_kid]

It's not 'pretty cool,' it's incredible! And while I'm sure that feature could be added in, it would take a great deal of work to add in the setting! Getting it to turn time back just enough so it's an uncooked egg again was hard enough. You wouldn't believe how many times I ended up with just a pile of base atoms and molecules instead of an egg!

[monotreme_101]

My next question is... how likely is that thing to sprout arms and attack me?

[Smoothie. Machine. He remembers it.]

[orange_kid]

Oh, no, not at all! The device is completely stationary, with no moving parts at all.

...Though, you do want to be careful that you don't open the cover while the machine is working. Otherwise it would unleash a wave of uncontrolled chronitons, reversing time in a localized area, and, at best, making anything in it's path several years younger, and at worst making it as if they never existed at all.

[monotreme_101]

.....do you know how much old ladies would pay for that? If they could just open the door and stand back a bit and suddenly look a few years younger? Screw uncooking eggs, man. You could put the entire cosmetic surgery industry under with that thing.

[orange_kid]

Er. Well, that's... certainly an idea! Though, like I said, it would be uncontrolled! There's no way to control how much time it would reverse.

Not to mention that a reversal of time would, well, undo all the things that happened. I don't think too many people would be willing to entirely forget an unknown portion of their lives.

[monotreme_101]

Figure out a way to regulate it and make it work just on like... skin and teeth and stuff. I swear, you would be rolling in money like it was grass on a sunny hilltop.

I will invest.

[orange_kid]

It's certainly a nice idea... but I think I'll just stick with uncooking eggs, if that's alright with you!

[monotreme_101]

[...so... so much wasted potential.]

Alright. I mean, it's your invention after all, you can use it for whatever you want.